


Midnight Sun

by CloudHop



Series: pick me (nayana) [1]
Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Crushes, Eventual Romance, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudHop/pseuds/CloudHop
Summary: i wish everything would stop in place-hotshota love story in motion





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> taehyun falls in love and then he falls apart

Taehyun meets Sungwoon for the first time at age twelve. Sungwoon is new to the class and the teacher has him explain that he and his family recently moved, but Taehyun isn’t really listening and he misses the ‘where’ part. At lunch Taehyun goes to sit next to him and discovers he’s chatty and friendly and much more outgoing than his looks suggested. Taehyun decides that he and Sungwoon will be friends from that day onwards. He’s happy to find that Sungwoon agrees.

Taehyun’s twelfth year of life is filled with laughter and friendship and Sungwoon.

\----

At age thirteen, Sungwoon has his first crush. Taehyun can’t quite figure out why he has this achy feeling in his stomach every time Sungwoon talks about it. Not “it” Sungwoon would say, “her.” Her name is Kim Yunseo and she has short black hair and pretty eyes. Sungwoon confesses to her on a breezy day in mid-October in front of the school. Taehyun waits for him patiently like usual. Their walk home together is a ritual, one they haven’t broken since their first meeting.

Taehyun isn’t expecting Sungwoon to return with Yunseo. He tries not to feel betrayed when Sungwoon invites her along to their walk. They’ve never brought an outsider before. But Taehyun supposes it’s probably partially his fault. They had never specified rules after all.

“So, you live this way too?” Taehyun asks. His tone is sharp and the look he gets from Sungwoon is sharper.

“Yes,” she replies. Her voice is melodic and lilting.

_Is this the kind of voice Sungwoon likes?_

Taehyun considers his own voice, it’s nowhere even close to what Yunseo sounds like. Taehyun catches Sungwoon lacing his fingers together with hers and the weird achy stomach feeling expands to his chest. Taehyun isn’t quite sure what this feeling is, but he figures it’s probably just indigestion.

Yunseo joins them every day after that on the way home. Sungwoon is as much a gentleman as a middle schooler could possibly be. During the week-long bout of rain, he holds an umbrella for her. When she gets cold he offers her his blazer. When her backpack is too heavy he carries it. And he always walks her straight to her door, even though it’s out of the way for him and Taehyun.

Taehyun isn’t annoyed that Sungwoon isn’t considering his own feelings. He isn’t mad. And he definitely isn’t jealous of Yunseo. Because best friends don’t get jealous of girlfriends. Taehyun is Sungwoon’s best friend. And he plans to keep it that way.

\----  
At age fourteen, Yunseo and Sungwoon break up. It was inevitable, but Sungwoon cries for days. Taehyun plays his part as the supportive best friend, but in reality, he’s just thankful that never-ending stomach ache has disappeared. He still isn’t sure what caused it, but he doesn’t dwell too long. He’s afraid the answer will be a little too much for him to handle.

It takes a whole month before Sungwoon stops moping, before Taehyun has his best friend back, _really_ back. It takes all of two days before Sungwoon develops a new crush. This time it’s on the new girl, Lee Jihye. She comes late in the year and doesn’t talk much. She has nice, dark eyes and auburn hair that goes to her shoulders. Taehyun doesn’t show it, but he feels a little sad to lose his best friend to a girl again. He also laments when his stomach ache returns, but he doesn’t bring it up to Sungwoon. He’d never understand anyway.

Jihye rejects Sungwoon on a cloudy, cold day. Sungwoon is sad but accepting, Taehyun is just a little grateful. The rest of the year, Sungwoon doesn’t find interest in any new girls. He never brings up Taehyun having a crush and Taehyun is thankful, because he’s not quite sure what he’d say.

Age fourteen is also the year Taehyun begins to learn how to krump. Sungwoon is supportive but doesn’t join in. The two of them start singing together too and Taehyun finds that Sungwoon singing is one of his favorite sounds. Sungwoon will sing and Taehyun will krump and then they’ll eat snacks and play games and Taehyun will fall asleep every day with a smile on his face.

\----

They go to high school at age fifteen. Taehyun is a little more advanced at krumping, and Sungwoon’s voice has only gotten better. They’re past the awkward age of voice cracks and extreme growing, but the two of them never grew that much to begin with.

Their teacher is quiet but kind, and even though his appearance is gruff, Don Mills is nothing but helpful. He guides the class well, and though he’s stern at times, Taehyun is still grateful for his guidance. And though he won’t ever say it, Taehyun is sure that Don Mills is happy seeing his class thrive.

First year is also when Taehyun starts to lose Sungwoon, just a bit. Sungwoon starts making more friends. Taehyun isn’t surprised, Sungwoon is charismatic, a natural speaker. Taehyun is a bit too aggressive for most, too assertive, too severe. He tends to scare off most potential friends with his abrasive attitude.

Taehyun discovers a little more about himself halfway through the school year. He discovers that maybe he never had a crush on a girl because he was preoccupied with boys. Or maybe, just one boy in particular. A boy who has endlessly sunny smiles and kind eyes and a pretty mouth. A boy who happens to be Taehyun’s best friend.

The first time he dreams of kissing Sungwoon, he wakes up in a cold sweat and decides to shove his feelings deep deep _deep_ down inside him. Because nothing good can ever come from this. Because Sungwoon is his best friend, his only friend, and Taehyun doesn’t want to risk it just for the chance of a probably fleeting romance. So he tucks away his feelings deep inside and throws away the key.

School the next day is awkward and Taehyun’s ears burn red every time he looks at Sungwoon. He feels guilty, even though it was all in his head. Sungwoon doesn’t comment on it, but Taehyun is sure he’s noticed.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asks during lunch.

“Yeah, just uh, a little tired I guess.”  
Sungwoon shrugs.

“Don’t push yourself too hard Taehyun-ah.”  
“Of course. Thanks Sungwoon.”

Sungwoon smiles and Taehyun’s heart does a little fluttery thing.

“I think I have a crush,” Sungwoon says. Taehyun’s heart stops fluttering.

“Ah…really?” he asks. He tries not to sound disheartened.

“Yeah, on Minji. She’s in the class 1-3. I helped her with her books this morning.”  
Taehyun isn’t sure what she looks like, but he’s positive she’s pretty and petite and female. Taehyun’s heart falls a bit more. He could never be like that. There’s no use in even trying.

Taehyun is suspiciously quiet on the way back to the classroom. Sungwoon gives him a confused look but doesn’t pry. Taehyun isn’t sure what he would’ve said anyways. They pass who Taehyun assumes in Minji if Sungwoon’s rosy blush is anything to go by. She’s just as Taehyun imagined, petite, cupid’s bow lips, long eyelashes. And so very very different than Taehyun.

“H-Hi Minji-yah,” Sungwoon says. She smiles and she looks so very very delicate.

“Hello Sungwoon,” she replies. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks up at him through her eyelashes.

“I-I better get to class.”

“You better,” she echoes. They part and Sungwoon’s cheeks remain flushed. He turns to Taehyun.

“Aish, she’s so pretty.”

“…yeah.”

Sungwoon doesn’t bring up Minji for the rest of the day. But Taehyun knows he’s thinking about her. He looks for her at the end of the day and spots her walking the opposite direction.

“Ah, guess she lives that way,” he says.

“Guess she does.”

“Well, let’s go home.”

“Okay.”

Sungwoon and Minji don’t date, but he goes through two other girlfriends his first year of high school. Taehyun learns to ignore the ache in his gut and the quickening of his heart.

\----  
Age sixteen is a year of mistakes. For the first time ever, Taehyun gets drunk. It’s a Saturday night when Sungwoon is over, Taehyun’s parents gone on a week-long trip. They split a bottle of cheap soju and a six pack of beer. Taehyun decides to stop, but Sungwoon keeps drinking. He goes through another four beers and ends up significantly more drunk that Taehyun.

And maybe it’s the alcohol, or the mood, or the bursting feelings Taehyun has kept hidden for so long, but Taehyun leans forward and places his hand on Sungwoon’s cheek and tilts his head and kisses him. As far as first kisses go, it’s pretty awful, but Taehyun doesn’t notice. He focuses on the softness of Sungwoon’s lips and the desperate groan one of them makes.

And then one kiss turns to two turns to five turns to too many to count and soon they’re making out feverishly and stumbling down the hall to Taehyun’s room. Sungwoon starts stripping and there’s no doubt in Taehyun’s mind that he is absolutely not interested in girls. They fall into bed together and Taehyun prays that he’ll remember in the morning.

Taehyun wakes up surrounded by an uncomfortable warmth. He blinks away the morning sleepiness and pinpoints the reason for the heat. It’s Sungwoon, wrapped around him like an octopus. Sungwoon wakes up moments later.

“Ah, shit, my head,” he groans. Taehyun laughs a bit.

“Aish, what happened last night Taehyunnie?”  
Taehyun’s heart sinks.  
“Ah, do you…what do you remember?”

“Hm…well…we drank a lot and then…and then…”

Sungwoon’s face goes from contemplative to cherry red. He chances a look down and realizes that both he and Taehyun lack any sort of clothing.

“Did, did we…last night…”

Taehyun is quiet for a moment.

 _Should I lie?  
_ Sungwoon looks worried.

“Yeah,” Taehyun mumbles.

“Ah…”

Sungwoon runs a hand through his hair and bites his lip. He stands and moves towards the pile of discarded clothing. He pulls on his boxers and then throws Taehyun’s at him. Taehyun slips his on without a word.

“…is this…I…is this a one-time deal?” Taehyun is almost afraid to ask. He’s scared he won’t like the answer.

“…you know, you’re my best friend Taehyun.”

It feels like Sungwoon is preparing to let him down easy, to reject him, to pretend this never happened.  
“You’re my best friend too.”

Sungwoon smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.  
“…and I don’t want that to change.”

And Taehyun understands. If he tries this, if they attempt whatever _this_ is, their friendship will change. The risk is too high, there’s too much to lose if the relationship sours. Sungwoon likes the easiness, and Taehyun can do nothing but follow his lead.

“Yeah. Me too.” Taehyun doesn’t mean it, but he thinks maybe if he says it enough, he’ll start to.

It seems that age sixteen is a whole slew of firsts. He gets detention for the first time and meets new friends. He and Sungwoon start to drift, neither able to forget the night that wasn’t supposed to happen. They’re still close, but Taehyun starts moving to sit on the roof with a group of six idiotic boys and Sungwoon starts going to the cafeteria with his own new friends. They walk home together, but it seems that despite their best efforts, their friendship has changed, morphed into something new, and for the life of him, Taehyun can’t figure out how to change it back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taehyun is a good hyung, ok?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to part 2 people

Age seventeen and they’re nearly back to normal. Sungwoon doesn’t bring it up and Taehyun continues to push down his feelings. Every night, Taehyun dreams of Sungwoon’s voice and hands and kisses. And every day he does his best to repress it all.

They don’t sit together at lunch anymore, branching off to different parts of the school, but they message their way through it, so it’s almost like they never separated at all. But he likes his new friends, they don’t mind his assertive behavior or his bizarre quirks. They have plenty of quirks themselves after all. Taehyun is glad he’s found these brats, and maybe a little separation from his best friend turned crush would help him get over lingering feelings.

They fall into a familiar pattern, parting ways when lunch begins and meeting up once it finishes. Taehyun will go to the roof and Sungwoon will head to the cafeteria. When they come together again they’ll talk about new information they’ve discovered or interesting gossip they were told. And then they’ll walk home like usual, and Sungwoon will probably come in, and he’ll probably eat snacks, and they’ll probably play games and talk, just like the old days. Taehyun should have known that nothing can last forever.

\----  
It’s a normal day when problems begin to arise. Donghan has his phone, holding it just out of reach. Taeheyun hears the familiar chime, the unique one he set just for Sungwoon.

“Donghan-ah, I need to text back Sungwoon.”

Yongguk’s phone is buzzing next to him, persistent and never-ending.

“Yongukkie, somebody is messaging you,” Kenta says. Yongguk is making a show of ignoring him. Donghan is still holding his phone hostage, and Taehyun does his best to imitate a monkey to reobtain it.

“Donghan-ah, give me my phone back!” he whines.

Donghan sticks his tongue out.

“Not a chance hyung,” he laughs. Taehyun pouts, bottom lip protruding forwards.

_Aish, this kid. No respect for his elders._

Donghan grins wide and then winks before running off, phone still in hand. The metal door to the stairwell crashes shut with a bang.

“You brat!” Taehyun shouts. He jumps up and starts to chase, abandoning his lunch on the rooftop. Somebody will probably throw away the trash, right? He doesn’t have much more of a chance to think about it anyways as he sprints until he sees Donghan still running. He dashes forward and tackles him in one go. Donghan stumbles at the extra weight before falling, and Taehyun snatches his phone out of his hands.

“Ha! Gotcha!” he laughs. Donghan’s smile is smaller, but still genuine.

“Yep. You got me.”

Taehyun’s grin is wide and his eyes are dancing. He gives Donghan a quick pat on the head and begins his way towards the classroom. In the corner of his eye he can see Donghan dusting himself off before going the opposite direction to his own class. Taehyun grins wider. He has a lot to tell Sungwoon.

\----  
The next day starts off normal, but that changes as soon as it hits lunchtime. He waves at Sungwoon as they part ways, and the smile that Sungwoon gives in return is almost heart-stopping. He turns quick before Sungwoon can see his cherry red cheeks and heads towards the stairs.

He finds Hyunbin there, waiting right outside the door. He doesn’t make a move to open it, just gazes through the miniscule glass window at something, somebody, but who Taehyun isn’t quite sure.

“Whatcha starin’ at Hyunbinnie?” he asks, hand moving to his lower back. Hyunbin jumps.

“ _Sh-_ ”

Taehyun knows what’s coming next.

“Don’t curse,” he admonishes.

“ _-it!_ You scared me Taehyun-hyung.”  
Seems the brat still doesn’t listen. No respect, none at all.

“I said don’t curse.”

“Sorry hyung.”

He sighs, theatrical and purposefully over the top.

“I suppose I’ll have to forgive you,” he says with a shrug. “So, whatcha waitin’ for? Let’s go eat lunch.”

He tries to move past Hyunbin, squishing his way under his arm.

“N-Not quite yet hyung,” Hyunbin stutters. Odd. “Just. One more second.”

Taehyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit confused.

“You’re being weird Hyunbin-ah,” he decides. And then he pushes straight past him and opens the door.

“Taehyun!” a familiar voice calls, and he has several moments before he’s enveloped in a too tight hug from their resident maknae.

“Aigo, let go of me you giant tree!” Taehyun whines, shoving at his arms. Donghan only laughs and squeezes tighter. Several moments of suffocation pass before Donghan lets him go and sit down. Taehyun lets out an annoyed grumble, but he can’t hide the fond smile easing its way onto his lips.

He overhears something about Shihyun and messaging, but he’s soon distracted by Donghan’s long arms wrapping around him again.

“Somebody help me,” he groans. Kenta sighs and stands up, prepared to aid Taehyun during his times of struggle. Kenta flicks Donghan on the forehead once, quick and sharp, and Donghan’s arms unwind from Taehyun. Taehyun grins triumphantly and takes a dramatic seat next to Sanggyun.

“Aish,” he starts. “Can’t believe I deal with you Donghan-ah.”  
Donghan smirks. Cheeky fucker. He turns, ready to talk to Sanggyun, when he sees how tomato red his ears are.

“Ah! Your ears are so red Sanggyun!”

This only seems to fluster Sanggyun more as the whole group turns to observe his ears.

“They are not!” Sanggyun insists, even as the red from his ears migrates onto his cheeks and then onto the rest of his face.

“Cu~ute,” Donghan comments. He pokes at his cheek and Sanggyun bats his prodding hand away.

“Fuck off,” he says, embarrassed and just a tad annoyed.

“Not in front of the kids!” Taehyun gasps, and that seems to break the odd mood that’s settled over the group. They move on to different topics, Sanggyun’s blush forgotten, except not quite. Because Taehyun remembers. He wonders what it all means and mulls over asking Sungwoon for his opinion later that day. He decides that he should.

\----  
He remembers Sanggyun’s strange behavior in seventh period. And decides he should decode it. In hindsight, it’s not his best plan.

_2:25 P.M. Me: hey meet me in the bathroom_

_2:26 P.M. Kim Sanggyun: uh okay_

He excuses himself and heads to the bathroom, taking a pass with him. Cheetah (he’s still not sure why they call her that when her name is Kim Eunyoung) waves him off and continues lessons as usual. He meets Sanggyun outside the bathroom door. Sanggyun is fiddling with his hands and biting his bottom lip, a telltale sign of his nerves. Taehyun claps him on the back once before pushing the bathroom door open.

“So what was with you today?” he asks. He stares at Sanggyun expectantly.

“Nothing, Taehyun.”

Taehyun is skeptical. He’s not the smartest, but he can still tell when his friends are lying to his face.

“Bullshit,” he states. “We both know you were acting weird today. C’mon Sanggyun-ah, you can tell me.”

It’s quiet and Taehyun wonders if he was too harsh. He wants Sanggyun to feel comfortable, he’d been under the impression that they were close. Was he wrong?

“H…Hyunbin-ah confessed to me yesterday,” Sanggyun mumbles after a bout of silence. Taehyun sucks in a sharp breath.  
“Aigo, really?”

This…this couldn’t be the explanation.

“Yeah.”

Or maybe it could.

“…I don’t know what to do Taehyun,” Sanggyun begins. Taehyun feels just a little bad for him. “Hyunbin-ah and I are good friends.”

And oh, doesn’t that sound familiar. Good friends. One of them catching feelings that aren’t exactly suited for friendship. Taehyun wonders if he’d sympathize with Hyunbin more. He mulls over responses in his head, settling on the question he knows he has to ask. The question Sanggyun probably hasn’t even asked himself.

“…well…are you interested in him?”

Sanggyun is staring at the ground, still chewing on his lip. Taehyun wonders if it hurts.

“We’re…I…he’s such a good friend. I mean, I know he’s good looking, I’m not blind, he just…I’m just…he’s my friend, you know? Like…can I even think of him like that?”

Taehyun frowns, unsatisfied and unconvinced of Sanggyun’s sincerity. Of course you can think of friends like that. He lets out a humorless laugh in his mind. He’s been doing it for years. He decides maybe he’ll see if Sanggyun can do what he’s sure Hyunbin does all the time. What Taehyun does when he thinks of his own best friend.

“Try…imagining a date with him. What would you do?”

Sanggyun scrunches up his face and purses his lips, for once not biting them. Taehyun could almost laugh, this question was impossibly easy. He can come up with countless scenarios of he and Sungwoon on a date, he’s done it in his dreams, on the bus, in class, he never runs out of ideas when they involve Sungwoon. Taehyun is only a little surprised when Sanggyun speaks again. As per usual he had gotten lost in thoughts of Sungwoon.

“Er…well…” A nervous start. Not a great indicator. “We’d probably get coffee…and then go to the park. He’d…ask me for rap advice and then…I dunno. We’d go home.” Overall a solid hang-out with a friend. But distinctly not a date.

“That doesn’t sound like a date,” Taehyun voices. It seems he didn’t need to because Sanggyun’s shoulders slump and the frown on his face looks more troubled than before.

“…I…yeah I know.”

And so Taehyun decides he’ll pull out the proverbial big guns. The question that will determine it all. The question that finally made Taehyun accept that maybe his feelings towards Sungwoon were, are, a little less platonic than what’s normally acceptable for best friends.

“Imagine kissing him.”

Sanggyun closes his eyes again and breathes in. Taehyun stares at him with a watchful eye. Sanggyun’s face doesn’t change expressions, he doesn’t flush, there’s no smile. It’s what Taehyun would consider a ‘bad sign’ for Hyunbin’s chances. Sanggyun lets out a deep, tired sigh.

“I can’t.”

Taehyun nods. He had expected an answer like this.

“Well,” he begins. “There’s your answer.”

Sanggyun looks so fucking pitiful, hands running through his hair and eyebrows knit tight. It looks like he’s experiencing the dilemma of a lifetime.

“…yah Taehyun, what do I tell him? He’s gonna be crushed.”  
Sanggyun’s hands clench and unclench. Clench and unclench.

“You have to tell him the truth Sanggyunnie,” he says gently. Sanggyun groans, unsatisfied and quiet.

“Yeah.” His face looks so resigned. “You’re right.” His posture is stiff. “Thanks Taehyun.” His shoulders are squared. He’s the image of unhappy. Taehyun gives him a pat on the back, rubbing just a bit.

“Of course, Gyunnie.”

He uses the nickname, hoping it’ll distract Sanggyun from this tired acceptance.

“Don’t call me that,” Sanggyun snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it.

Taehyun gives him one lasting thump on the back and then leaves. Minutes later he can hear Sanggyun doing the same. Teacher Cheetah doesn’t question when he comes back into the classroom nearly fifteen minutes later. Taehyun exhales and takes a look outside. It’s cloudy and grey, perfect weather for rejection.

\----  
He meets up with Sungwoon at the front of the school like usual.

“Hey Sungwoon-ah.”

Sungwoon looks up from his phone.

“Hi Taehyunnie.”

“I have…so much to tell you.”

Sungwoon cocks his head.

“C’mon, let’s go, I’ll tell you on the way home.”  
They start walking and Taehyun shoves his hands in his pockets. He exhales slowly and starts.

“So I think some trouble may be starting soon.”

“Hm?”

“Hyunbin has, er, he seems to have developed a crush.”

Sungwoon’s eyes widen in surprise.

“On you?”

Taehyun barks out a laugh and waves his hands frantically.

“No no, on Sanggyun.”

“…but why?”

“Beats me,” Taehyun shrugs. “But Sanggyun came to me for advice this afternoon.”

“And what did you tell him?”

Taehyun nails dig into his palms, hands still deep in his pockets.

“I told him that he should be honest.”

_Too bad I can’t follow my own advice._

“You’re a good hyung, Taehyun.”  
Taehyun smiles, but it’s small and just a bit resigned.

“Thanks.”

They walk in silence and when it starts to pour they run. They laugh wildly, sprinting down the wet sidewalk.  Taehyun wonders when last he felt this free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please support jbj!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunbin is being weird and taehyun hates being hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everybody. i'm doing the catch up game so i can get to the same point chronologically as [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355)

Taehyun is a little suspicious when the next day Hyunbin is all smiles. He observes him at lunch, eyes narrowed in confusion. It seems he’s a little too obvious because Taedong gets right close near his face and pokes his forehead.

“It’ll get stuck like that if you don’t watch out,” he says. Taehyun scoffs, but he stops watching Hyunbin and Sanggyun so closely. Lunch continues without much more excitement, but he does smile stupidly when he gets a message from Sungwoon.

He gets to the classroom earlier than Sungwoon and he flushes when Sungwoon passes by and ruffles his hair before sitting. He doesn’t have time to say anything in response though, because class starts and soon he’s back to scribbling notes.

When they walk home it’s cold but not cloudy, not a chance of rain. He and Sungwoon walk with little dialogue, bumping shoulders together comfortably. Something in passing reminds Sungwoon of a story, and he launches into an exciting retelling of something his other friends did during lunch time.

“-nd then Daniel started stuttering and, like, why can’t he just admit he has a crush on Seongwu because it’s totally obvious and really nobody would judge him, like, I just don’t ge-”

Taehyun tunes him out after a while and can’t really bring himself to feel guilty at all. He eventually stops talking, and they arrive at Taehyun’s home in silence. They head up to Taehyun’s room and drop their backpacks at the door.

“Hyunbin was acting strange today,” Taehyun starts.

“Mm? How?”  
“He was all…happy.”

“What’s strange ‘bout that?”

Sungwoon stands up and walks to his backpack.

“What? Did you already forget? He has a crush on Sanggyun, and Sanggyun was totally gonna turn him down.”

He’s rummaging through it before brandishing a pack of jellies proudly. He tosses the bag at Sungwoon.

“Maybe he didn’t?” Sungwoon shrugs. He catches the bag and pops a peach jelly in his mouth. He chews thoughtfully and Taehyun reaches out, hands making grabby motions. Sungwoon rolls his eyes and throws an apple jelly at him.

“Thanks,” he says through a mouthful of candy. He swallows audibly before continuing. “But that makes no sense, Sanggyun said he totally wasn’t interested.”

Sungwoon shrugs again.

“Maybe he lied. People lie about that stuff all the time, right?”

_But not you, huh? You weren’t lying when you said you didn’t want more._

“Right.”

\----  
He spends the rest of the week diligently working in class and playing games with Sungwoon after school. He’s so used to the ache in his heart that he completely ignores it as it pines endlessly. He reminds himself stubbornly that Sungwoon doesn’t want him the same way he wants Sungwoon. He’s yet to convince himself that he’s fine with it.

Saturday is a nice break. Or at least it would be if his phone would stop fucking ringing. Taehyun groans and grabs it off the nightstand. He looks at the caller and sighs.

“Hyunbin-ah, why are you calling me. It’s Saturday, I want to sleep in.”

“Sorry Taehyun-hyung, but I really need help choosing an outfit.”

Taehyun has a bad feeling about this.

“Hnngh, why, what’s the occasion?”

Taehyun suspects he already knows.

“I’m going on a date hyung, I can’t tell you who. Please just help.”

And there it was. A confirmation.

_It’s Sanggyun. It’s definitely Sanggyun._

Taehyun groans again, purposefully overdramatic.

“Aigo, fine. Wear…” Taehyun pauses and runs over what he knows is in Hyunbin’s wardrobe. “…those dark wash jeans. The nice ones. And your grey sweater. That looks good on you.”

Taehyun hears rustling and then a pleased hum.

“Okay. Thanks, hyung, I really owe you!”

Hyunbin sounds excited. Taehyun plans to beat the proverbial shit out of Sanggyun if the date goes anything but well.

“Aish, you kids are a pain. I’m going back to sleep. Have fun on your date Hyunbinnie,” he says. He doesn’t wait for a response and ends the call with a click. Taehyun sighs and closes his eyes again, but is unable to fall asleep when his phone begins blaring again.

“Hullo?”

“Taehyunnie!”

_Ah shit._

“What Sungwoon?”

“Let’s hang out today!”

It’s not like this is an abnormal occurrence, but Taehyun is just a little annoyed he can’t spend a single day without being confronted with the object of his long-standing affections. He knows he could probably decline and everything would be fine, but this unrelenting crush won’t let him. If offered the opportunity to see Sungwoon, he’ll always say yes.

“Okay.”

“Great! Because I’m outside your door.”

He’s not even given a chance to respond because his phone beeps, letting him know that Sungwoon has hung up. He scowls at the black screen and rolls out of bed to get dressed. He doesn’t spend too much time to try to look presentable, Sungwoon has been around long enough that he’s seen it all, good days, bad days, the whole works. When he opens the door, he’s met with a firm hug and he stumbles a bit at the force behind it.

“Hi Taehyunnie!” Sungwoon says. He slips off his shoes and plods into the house, heading immediately to Taehyun’s room. Taehyun rolls his eyes but follows.

“You know one of these days I’m not going to let you in,” Taehyun scolds.

“Pfft, lies,” Sungwoon scoffs. Taehyun frowns, but he knows he’s right. He’ll always have time for Sungwoon.

“Let’s watch the new episode of that drama.”

Sungwoon pulls out his laptop and moves to plug it in. Taehyun sighs dramatically.

“Fine,” he whines, but a smile is teasing at his lips. Sungwoon winks cheekily at him as the computer boots up. Taehyun moves to his bed and sits, squeezing a pillow to his chest.

“I already downloaded it, so we don’t have to wait,” Sungwoon says. He clambers up on the bed and cozies up to Taehyun, causing him to flush. Sungwoon doesn’t notice.

The show starts and they both groan appropriately when the romance becomes too sugary, gasp when something shocking happens, and laugh when it’s funny. And once that episode finishes, they launch into a different show with only a short break to gather snacks. They get tired of watching shows after a while, and move on to games.

Sungwoon laughs as Taehyun loses the round again and Taehyun retaliates by throwing a wrapped jelly at him. Sungwoon grins and unwraps the candy.

“Joke’s on you Taehyunnie! I love this flavor.”

“Oh, fuck off Sungwoon-ah.” His tone is sharp, but there’s no real heat behind it. Sungwoon winks.

“I should go home soon,” he says. Taehyun is disappointed, but that’s nothing new. It’s not like Sungwoon can stay forever.

“Okay.”

Sungwoon stands and ruffles Taehyun’s hair. Taehyun scowls and bats his hand away.

“See you tomorrow?” Sungwoon asks. Taehyun wants to say no. He starts to form the word in his mouth.

“Okay.”

_Fuck._

Sungwoon’s smile almost makes his failure worth it.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow Taehyun-ah. Let’s get lunch, okay?”

Taehyun has no choice but to agree. He was the one who failed anyways. It’s not like his inability to refuse Sungwoon anything is something new. He stands and begins to walk Sungwoon to the door.

“Bye Taehyunnie!”

Sungwoon’s smile is so fucking bright. Taehyun’s heart clenches painfully, practically melting under the sun that Sungwoon’s smile brings.

“Bye,” Taehyun manages. Sungwoon turns and starts walking. Taehyun closes the door and clenches at his chest. He exhales deep and starts the walk back to his room. He spots something out of place and laughs, shaking his head.

“Aish Sungwoon-ah, you’re a mess,” he giggles as he picks up Sungwoon’s laptop cord. He puts it on his dresser and promises himself he’ll bring it to him tomorrow. He sets a reminder on his phone just in case and closes his eyes. A nap before dinner couldn’t hurt, right? He feels his mind begin to drift off into a far too familiar dream. He watches from a bird’s eye view a date between him and Sungwoon. He knows it’ll hurt when he wakes up, but he’ll worry about that later. He loses himself in bright smiles and held hands and gentle kisses. He’ll regret this later. He knows. It still doesn’t stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please support jbj! and thanks for your patience :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lunch bunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoho lots of filler

Taehyun isn’t quite ready to hang out with Sungwoon again, but he isn’t given much of a choice because Sungwoon shows up at his doorstep at exactly 12:23 P.M.

“Ready for lunch?” Sungwoon asks. He’s bouncing a bit, releasing excess energy.

“Sure,” Taehyun replies. He doesn’t bring up the fact that he isn’t very hungry. He doesn’t want to burst Sungwoon’s bubble after all.

“Okay then! Let’s rumble,” Sungwoon laughs. They start walking towards the subway, Sungwoon leads, Taehyun follows. It’s how it is these days.

“Where you wanna eat?” Sungwoon questions. He’s asking, but Taehyun knows that he’s really just hoping to go to that sandwich place he loves. Taehyun indulges him because he’s weak.

“Hmm, how does the sandwich place downtown sound?”

Sungwoon gives him a pleased looking smile. Taehyun is sure he doesn’t suspect a thing.

“That sounds great Taehyun-ah.”

The subway is crowded and noisy. Taehyun is squished between a broad-shouldered man and Sungwoon. Taehyun’s chest is flush against Sungwoon. Taehyun blushes. Sungwoon looks indifferent. They turn their heads opposite ways. Taehyun isn’t sure what he would do if they were face to face.

_Kissing distance_

He shakes his head furiously, trying to banish the thought. Sungwoon doesn’t comment on it, but he’s probably confused is Taehyun’s guess. He’ll never know anyways, because soon they arrive at a popular stop, and the crowd slowly thins as people shuffle off the car. Sungwoon makes a move to put some distance in between them immediately. Taehyun isn’t disappointed at all.

They get off at the next stop. Sungwoon looks so nonchalant, hands deep in his pockets, face impassive. His steps take on a lazy air, he looks like he’s off in his own world. Taehyun wonders if he’s having any fun at all.

But the strange seriousness shatters in an instant as they get ever closer to the sandwich shop. Sungwoon whoops when he spots it in the distance.

“I am so hungry,” he says. Taehyun chuckles.

“Me too,” he lies. They exchange grins and increase their walking speed.

The line is short, surprisingly so. Maybe they missed the lunch rush. They get their regulars and take a seat outside. Sungwoon is glowing, like he usually does when he’s around food. They eat in silence, but it’s a comfortable one. It gives time for Taehyun to think.

He starts on the thoughts that plague him the most. Sungwoon. Sungwoon’s face, and his smile, and his laugh, and his everything. If this were a different circumstance, a different duo, Taehyun might be inclined to think they were on a date. But it’s just Sungwoon and Taehyun. Best buds. Friends for life. Nothing more. Nothing less.

That idea settles deep in his stomach. Suddenly, Taehyun doesn’t feel like eating anymore. He puts down his half sandwich and sighs. He thought he did it quiet enough that Sungwoon didn’t hear. He was wrong.

“What’s up?” Sungwoon questions through a mouthful of lettuce.

“Nothin’.”

“Aish, Taehyun-ah, you know you can’t lie to me.”

And damn, he’s right. Sungwoon has always been able to read him easy.

“Just thinking.”  
“What about?”  
“Nothing important.”  
It seems Taehyun’s tone is sharp enough for Sungwoon to let the topic drop. He doesn’t bring it up again. Taehyun only feels mildly bad about his tone. But not really.

“So,” Sungwoon starts, rebooting their conversation. “Anything new happen?”  
Taehyun takes a bite of his sandwich, then closes his eyes and thinks, chewing thoughtfully all the while.

“I think there’s something going on with Hyunbin and Sanggyun.”

He opens his eyes. Sungwoon lifts an eyebrow.

“What kind of something?”  
“Mm…unrequited love something.”  
Sungwoon whistles.

“Aigo, unrequited for who?”  
“Hyunbinnie of course.”

“Aish. Poor kid.”

“Yeah.”

“Unrequited love is hard.”

This makes Taehyun a little angry, but he reigns in his annoyance. He has to keep up appearances. It’s not Sungwoon’s fault Taehyun developed a shitty crush. No, for that, he only has himself to blame.

“So, what about you? Anything new?”  
This time it’s Sungwoon who closes his eyes and thinks.

“Hmm…you know that first year, Seonho-ah?”  
“Mm.”

“I think he has an unrequited crush too.”

Taehyun frowns. All these unrequited loves are making him depressed. They only serve as a reminder of his own pitiful situation.

“On who?”

Sungwoon remains quiet for a moment. Taehyun struggles to make eye contact, but Sungwoon keeps shifting his gaze.

“…Minhyun.”

Taehyun sucks in sharp and clutches his chest. Poor kid.

“Jeez…that’s rough.”

“Yeah.”

The conversation is heavy now, and neither Sungwoon nor Taehyun want to break the silence that’s settled over them like a wet blanket. Taehyun’s head is swimming of all the ways Sungwoon could turn him down. He isn’t sure what exactly is going on in Sungwoon’s head, but it seems pretty deep. Sungwoon’s mouth is in a firm line, he hardly ever looks this serious.

They finish up the rest of their sandwiches and Sungwoon stands up.

“Here, gimme your trash.”  
“Ah, thanks.”  
He hands over his garbage and watches Sungwoon walk to the trash bin. His phone dings in his pocket.

_1:58 P.M. Kim Sanggyun: I think I fucked up taehyun_

Taehyun’s eyebrows draw together in confusion.

_1:59 P.M. Me: What do you mean???_

A minute passes by, then two, three, five. He receives no response. Sungwoon is back now, trash all thrown away. Taehyun is still staring at his phone in confusion.

“What’s up Taehyunnie?”

“Ah nothing,” he replies. He shoves his phone into his pocket. It doesn’t seem like Sanggyun will be responding any time soon.

“What do you wanna do now?” Sungwoon asks. Taehyun shrugs.

“Whatever.”

“Hm…then let’s go back to my place. We can watch a movie or something.”

Against his better judgement, Taehyun agrees. Okay, he admits he doesn’t always have the best planning skills. They start the trek back to Sungwoon’s home and chat about a variety of topics. Latest school gossip (“Did you know that Dongho has a crush on an underclassman?”), the woes of homework (“Cheetah is nice, but she always gives us weird homework.”), and even the surprising talents of their fellow students (“I heard Woo Jinyoung rap the other day, he’s actually pretty good!”).

They board the subway still chatting casually about their lives, and Taehyun is thankful that it’s a lot less crowded than before. There’s even empty seats that he and Sungwoon soon occupy. They arrive at their stop and start walking to Sungwoon’s home. Their conversation has puttered off, and neither of them are in any hurry to revive it.

Taehyun is greeted by Sungwoon’s mother, and he responds politely.

“We’re going to go watch some shows,” Sungwoon says.

“Okay! Have fun,” his mother responds. She has a rosy smile, her laughter lines deep. Taehyun wonders if Sungwoon will look this happy when he’s older. He wonders if they’ll still know each other. He hopes so. He isn’t sure what he’d do without Sungwoon in his life.

They go up a flight of stairs to reach Sungwoon’s room and Sungwoon immediately moves to grab his laptop off his desk. He starts booting it up and then turns expectantly towards Taehyun.

“What do you wanna watch?”  
“Ah, anything is fine.”  
“Okay. How about that new movie, the romantic drama?”  
And Taehyun should be suspicious, because it’s completely different than Sungwoon’s normal tastes, but maybe he’s just too blinded by love to notice.

“Sounds great.”  
The movie starts and it’s just as cliché as Taehyun thought it would be. The lead female is whiny and useless, the lead male is too confident and overzealous. It’s annoying. The movie ends with the lead female dying, and okay Taehyun wasn’t expecting that one he’ll admit.

“So, what’d you think?” Sungwoon asks as the credits roll. Taehyun shrugs.

“Not awful,” he offers. Sungwoon doesn’t smile. Odd.

“You know…romance is stupid,” he says. Taehyun ignores the stab at his heart.

“Yeah,” he replies. It’s more muted than he wants it to be.

“Have you ever had a crush Taehyun-ah?”

And fuck, is Sungwoon mocking him? Or has he really forgotten. Taehyun thinks of his answer. Should he be truthful?  
“…yeah,” he whispers.

“Oh.”

Everything seems awkward now. The room’s atmosphere is full of awkward shuffling and shaking pupils and thick tension.

“I’ve, uh, I haven’t, er…” Sungwoon trails off. He sucks in, mustering his courage. “I don’t think I’ve, uh, I’ve ever, um, had a crush.”

And that hurts. Taehyun can’t pretend it doesn’t. It’s even worse when Taehyun realizes Sungwoon is lying. Had he noticed? Had Taehyun really been so careless that Sungwoon had discovered his less than savory feelings? He wonders if this is Sungwoon letting him down easy, if this is the way he’s subtly rejecting Taehyun.

“I’m um, I…it’s getting pretty late Sungwoon-ah.” It’s not. It’s still light out, and it’s only a few minutes past five. “I should head home.”

Sungwoon shakes his head a few times, like he’s shaking himself free of this tension. He smiles, gummy and cute. They stand and Sungwoon walks him to the door.

“Get home safe,” he says. Taehyun smiles at him, but it isn’t genuine. He feels like crying.

“Thanks, Sungwoon-ah. See you Monday.”

He exits Sungwoon’s home and breathes in the crisp air. The light is dimming slowly. He exhales and starts walking home. His sticks his hands deep in his pockets. He can feel traces of lint and a stray coin. He wonders when he’ll stop loving Sungwoon.

 _Never,_ he thinks

And that’s that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please support jbj friendos. and if ya want, leave some comments and let me know how i'm doing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taehyun just wants to fix his own love life. too bad he has to take care of 6 idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loooool taehyun is a good hyung

It seems Monday is a new sort of trial that Taehyun has yet to pass. It starts out normal enough, classes passing slowly, the Monday dragging like usual. He and Sungwoon exchange a few sneaky notes under their tables, and that keeps Taehyun occupied for a bit. Lunch is when things really start heating up. There’s something off about the group, and Taehyun has a sneaky suspicion that it’s caused by their resident “rap phenomenon (his words of course)”.

Hyunbin is looking down like a dejected puppy. Sanggyun is focused on him like a hawk. Taehyun sighs as he catches the eyes of the rest of the group. Well. He’s the hyung. He nods. It’s time to get to the bottom of this dumb fucking mystery.

“Sangyunnie, I need some help with a rap. Let’s go over there.”

He doesn’t rap, and everybody knows it. Sanggyun is so distracted he doesn’t even notice.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever.”  
They go to a corner of the roof and Taehyun starts interrogating immediately.

“What did you do to Hyunbin? Did you turn him down? Were you mean? Is that why he’s so sad?”

Taehyun’s questions are lighting fast and Sanggyun looks bewildered.

“I…no. I just…we went on a date.”

_…this motherfucker._

“That’s messed up Sanggyun.”

_…this. Motherfucker._

“Yeah, I uh, realized that later. Hindsight. But the whole time, I was just thinking about how this felt like a normal friend outing. How it didn’t really feel like a date. And then I tried imagining kissing him, or cuddling, or giving him pet names, and I just _couldn’t_.”

Taehyun resists the urge to roll his eyes. Is this what Sanggyun thought romantic relationships were? God he’s an idiot. But at the same time…

_This. Mother. Fucker._

“You should apologize. You lead him on. He thought he had a shot,” Taehyun says. And he thinks he really would empathize with Hyunbin more. How many times had Taehyun misinterpreted Sungwoon’s actions after all? Too many to count probably. And then he asks the question that he’s been silently asking Sungwoon for years.

“Why the fuck didn’t you just let him down?”

“I…I don’t know.”

And God this is so dumb. It’s like watching his own life play out with other people. Like they’re all stuck in the same trash boat of unrequited love.

“That was so fuckin’ selfish Sanggyun,” he scolds. He’s angry. It seeps into his words. “Like, shit Gyun…he was...he thought…”

“I-I know.”

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t fucking know. Because nobody can know. Not unless you were in there, in that situation, stuck, unable to move forward.

“Just…apologize,” Taehyun says. It’s all he can really ask anyways.

“Mm.”

The conversation is over, but it doesn’t feel like anything was really absolved. The group is uncomfortably silent when they return. Tense. So tense. Nobody starts up a new conversation and they eat in silence. He packs up his lunch bag and heads to the stairs. Hyunbin and Sanggyun are in front of him. He catches Sanggyun bumping their shoulders together. That boy better hope to God he fixes his relationship with Hyunbin, or Taehyun is going to rip him a new one.

And no, this anger totally isn’t coming out of nowhere. This situation doesn’t hit close to home. Not at all. He resolutely doesn’t put him and Sungwoon in Hyunbin and Sanggyun’s roles. Nope. Not a chance. Absolutely. Not.

He greets Sungwoon when he gets back to class, but he’s still distracted by the previous events. Classes zip by and the day ends with him still feeling unsatisfied. He goes home with Sungwoon like usual. Sungwoon doesn’t seem to mind picking up the slack in their conversation, and he chatters continually until they arrive at Taehyun’s home. Taehyun gives him a firm pat on the shoulder and a tight smile. Sungwoon waves when Taehyun reaches his door. He sees Sungwoon start to leave through the window.

\----  
If Taehyun thought yesterday was weird, he wasn’t prepared for today. It starts off normal again, he and Sungwoon talking at breaks and exchanging smiles. They separate for lunch, Sungwoon heading to the cafeteria and Taehyun going to the roof.

Yongguk is lounging, eyes closed and facing the sun. Hyunbin is sitting next to him. It doesn’t seem like there’s much conversation going on. He figures he’ll be the one to bring the excitement. He waltzes in and greets them loudly. Donghan bursts in moments later, then Kenta. Donghan decides that now is the perfect time to begin bickering, and neither of them even notice Taedong joining the group. Sanggyun is uncharacteristically last, somber faced with deep circles under his eyes.

There’s nothing particularly odd about Hyunbin asking Sanggyun for advice on a rap. But Taehyun wasn’t expecting him to rebound so quick after the whole rejection fiasco. He catches Hyunbin’s eye and oh. He wasn’t rebounding. He can tell. There’s definite pain in there.

Lunch ends with Taehyun suspicious and only mildly annoyed at Sanggyun. He can’t help but want to help Hyunbin. They’re in similar situations after all. Except Hyunbin had the courage to confess. And Taehyun didn’t. He doesn’t regret it at all. Really.

\----

He catches Sungwoon outside of their classroom.

“I need to go find Hyunbinnie. But I’ll meet you at the front gates, okay?”  
“Sure,” he says. He’s always so agreeable. “Take your time.”

Sungwoon always was an understanding person. It’s one of the things Taehyun lov- _NO NOPE NUH-UH._ He cuts that thought off before it can take flight. He finds Hyunbin under the huge tree, sitting with his back against the trunk.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin looks up. He look tired. So tired.

“Ah. Hey hyung.”

He sounds tired too. Taehyun sighs and sits down by his side. He turns his head and cocks it.

“So. What’s up?”

There’s only a beat before Hyunbin is sobbing, ugly and heavy. Taehyun wraps his arms around him and rubs his back. It’s not even uncomfortable when Hyunbin’s tears soak through his uniform. He catches Sanggyun watching them. Taehyun shakes his head, eyes narrow and dangerous.

_I fucking dare you._

Sanggyun turns. Walks away. It’s a smart choice.

Hyunbin continues to cry until there are no more tears and he’s only dry-heaving heavily. Taehyun continues to rub his back, offering any support he can. He knows how hard it is, living with this sort of love. He’s cried into his pillow enough to understand.

He separates from Hyunbin as soon as he’s sure that Hyunbin is feeling better and then goes to join Sungwoon at the gates. Sungwoon stares at his damp shoulder but doesn’t ask about it.

“You were gone for a long time.”

“Yeah.”

“Everything okay?”

“…”

He contemplates telling the truth. But it’s not his place to say.

“Yeah. Everything is fine.”

Sungwoon looks like he doesn’t buy it, but eventually he shrugs and looks forward. They walk home without a word exchanged, the breeze soft and hitting their faces. Taehyun’s shoulder is dry by the time he’s home.

\----  
Taehyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit scared of the next day. He’s not sure how Hyunbin is holding up. He’s not sure he wants to find out. Sungwoon doesn’t comment on his unusual quietness, even during class. They don’t exchange notes like usual and Taehyun seems to be in a daze for all of his classes. When lunch comes he stares at his blank notebook.

“Hey, can I see your notes later?” he asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Sungwoon says. “You were being kind of weird today. Everything okay?”

“I’m…I’m not sure. I’ll tell you later.”

Sungwoon nods and claps his shoulder once. When he gets to the roof he doesn’t see Hyunbin. No surprise there. The rest of the group is laughing, joking, but Sanggyun’s face is uncharacteristically serious. His eyes look tired, late nights pondering rejection probably. Taehyun can relate.

“Hey,” he says. He moves to take a seat next to Kenta and pulls out his lunch. He listens to Yongguk talk about his cats and idly eats rice. He’s rightfully shocked when Hyunbin comes through the door. It only takes him a moment to realize Hyunbin isn’t alone. Yongguk trails off awkwardly at the arrival of the stranger. He doesn’t make any effort to restart his story either.

_Suspicious._

“Me and Shihyun are dating now. He’ll be coming to lunch with me.”

It’s dead quiet on the roof. All eyes are on the couple. Sanggyun’s face looks like it’s trying to combine surprise and anger.

“What? Huh? The fuc-I mean. Uh. Great, awesome, that’s fine. I’m, er, happy for you,” Sanggyun stutters out. Hyunbin smiles at him. It’s pinched and fake looking. Taehyun glances down to find that Shihyun and Hyunbin are holding hands. He looks towards Yongguk. His eyes are sharp, almost dangerous. Sanggyun is the only to speak. The rest of the group watches in awkward silence.

“I’m…uh, I need to piss. Uh. Be right back,” Sanggyun says. He gets up to leave and looks start being exchanged. Hyunbin avoids everybody. Shihyun blinks, face blank. Taehyun sighs. He knows what time it is.

“Aigo, fine, I’ll go after him you wimps. I hate being the hyung.”

Taehyun gets up and heads to the stairs. He finds Sanggyun faster than expected. He’s slumped over in the stairwell, breath choppy.

“Sup.”

Sanggyun raises his head and Taehyun notes that he looks exceedingly pale.

“What’s going on with you?”

Sanggyun is quiet.

_Annoying._

“What is your issue, man? You’re acting weird.”

Sanggyun’s eyes shoot down again. Taehyun can feel his annoyance rising.

“Aren’t you happy for Hyunbin?” he asks. His tone is aggressive. “He’s moving on.”

“…I…”

“Well?”

“I…”

“Spit it out Sanggyun.”

He’s so annoyed.

“ _Fuck_ Taehyun, I don’t know, okay?”

Taehyun would roll his eyes if it wasn’t so inappropriate.

“You were the one who turned him down Sanggyun. You can’t be angry he’s moving on.”

“…yeah. Yeah, I know.”

Taehyun groans and glares and lets his annoyance steep. He really would relate to Hyunbin better.

“…c’mon. Let’s get back to the group.”  
Taehyun grasps Sanggyun’s hand and pulls him up. When they walk out Shihyun has his head on Hyunbin’s shoulder, hands still locked together. It’s domestic in a way new couples usually aren’t.

“Ah, you’re so stupid Hyunbinnie. Such an idiot,” Shihyun laughs. Hyunbin had probably said something stupid again. It wouldn’t be the first time. Taehyun is just about to chuckle along when he sees Sanggyun’s fist fly at Shihyun’s face. It happens in what feels like slow motion, Sanggyun’s fist colliding with Shihyun’s cheek.

“ _Shit!”_ Taehyun cries. He rushes over to Shihyun to assess the damage. A bruise is already forming under his right eye and his nose is dripping trace amounts of blood

“Sanggyun! What are you doing!? Sanggyun!” Kenta yells. “What is wrong with you?!”

“What the hell Sanggyun?!” Hyunbin asks. It’s loud, nearly a shout.

“He was-he-I…Nobody says that shit about you.”

_So annoying!_

“Hyung! We say that sorta stuff to each other all the time. We say things that are worse! It was a joke! You didn’t have to fucking punch him.”

Taehyun sees Sanggyun’s chest rise and fall erratically, face splotchy with anger.

“I’ll take Shihyun to the nurse,” Yongguk says. His face is passive, but Taehyun knows he’s seething. He doesn’t say anything to Sanggyun, but his glare communicates just as well.

“…let’s go get you cleaned up Sanggyun-hyung,” Hyunbin mutters.

Taehyun wants to shout and object. He wants to scream why this is a bad idea.

_Not your place_ , he tells himself.

The group is left in a tense sort of limbo. Nobody says anything. Nobody even tries. Hyunbin and Sanggyun rejoin the group eventually. Hyunbin sits, but Sanggyun stays standing, awkwardly shifting his weight from right to left. He finally sits a bit further away from Hyunbin. Taehyun watches them with calculating eyes.

Yongguk and Shihyun return moments later. Shihyun is patched up, nose bandaged, but his bruise is a deep, angry blue. Sanggyun stands. Taehyun sucks in a breath.

“I’m deeply sorry,” he starts. He bows low, hands at his sides. “My actions were inappropriate and uncalled for. I hope that you will forgive me in the future.”

Taehyun’s eyes remain on Sanggyun, but shift quickly when he the unfamiliar laugh of Shihyun. He’s confused. And it seems the rest of the group is too.

“Ahaha, jeez. Don’t worry, already forgotten. It’s okay Sanggyun-ah,” Shihyun giggles. He walks up close to Sanggyun, Taehyun strains to hear what he whispers. He can’t make it out. He doesn’t get much time to focus on it either, as the bell rings to signal lunch is over. He heads back to his classroom, chatting idly with Taedong.

“That was weird,” he starts. Taedong shrugs.

“I guess so.”

They switch to talking about school and separate to go to their seats once back in the classroom.

“How was lunch?” Sungwoon asks.

“Ha!” It’s sharp and jarring. The boy seated in front of them turns. “I have a lot to tell you Sungwoon.”

Taehyun smiles wolfishly. Sungwoon mirrors it. They restart class without a hitch and at the end of the day they start on their usual walk.

“So…let’s hear it.”

Taehyun smiles.

“Okay, so first, Hyunbin’s dating some new guy named Shihyun, and for some reason Yongguk was real pissed ‘bout it, and then, get this, Sanggyun punched him and it was wild…”

He goes on and on, relaying details of lunch. Sungwoon laughs and gasps and responds just as expected. When they separate Taehyun gives him a firm hug. Sungwoon’s arms are comforting and warm. Taehyun is too weak to not imagine them wrapped around him always.

“See you tomorrow Sungwoonie,” he calls. Sungwoon smiles and waves.

_Fuck._

He likes Sungwoon way too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may be a little late on posting because of midterms coming up. please read [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355) if you get bored. they run simultaneously together in the timeline. or read any of the works in the Pick Me series.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exams exams taehyun loves sungwoon exams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooooo i love this couple

Not much happens in the month after Shihyun got socked. Taehyun supposes he’s thankful. Sanggyun is still a bit off, but he seems to have calmed down at the very least. Taehyun enjoys the drama free life, but he’s smart enough to know that nothing lasts forever.

Cheetah, and Taehyun has really just stopped questioning her name at this point, brings up the topic of exams and she’s met with a chorus of groans.

“Hey hey, it’s not that bad! I believe in all of you,” she says. And then she laughs. Taehyun really doubts that she believes in them.

He glances at Sungwoon. Big mistake. He makes a stupid face and Taehyun laughs. All the heads turn.

“Cough, ha…yep.”

Nobody looks convinced

\----  
“We got a new teacher today,” Hyunbin announces. Taehyun resists the urge to tell him to chew his eggroll before speaking.

“Ah? How are they?” Shihyun asks. They all wait.

“He’s okay. He has a nice voice.”

_Anticlimactic._

“’obably a singer,” Taedong says. And again, Taehyun has to resist the urge to tell him to chew his damn food before he speaks.

“Not everybody with a nice voice are singers,” Taehyun points out, mouth free of food. Because he has manners.

“Yeah, take Hyunbin for example-OW! Mean Hyunbin-ah!” Donghan rubs at his shoulder and Taehyun can’t help but laugh at him. The rest of the group follow suit and soon they’re all laughing at Donghan’s misfortune.

“Hey!” he calls. “Don’t laugh at my pain!”

They only laugh harder and Donghan tries to act annoyed but fails in about three seconds. Sanggyun starts telling a story about their useless T.A. and the endless struggles of Jisung. Apparently, this particular time was another ‘Jisung drags Sungwoo to the nurse’ story.

“Ah, Sungwoo is such an idiot,” Donghan giggles. Taehyun is inclined to agree.

“Pfft, we all know Boa just keeps him round ‘cause he’s hot.” He thinks of Sungwoo and sighs. “Ah, honestly, so sexy.”

They all stop laughing. Taehyun looks from one set of eyes to another.

“…what? Was it something I said? Do I have rice on my face?”

He’s a neat eater but he starts patting his face anyways, searching for a stray grain.

“…we just…” Taedong starts. The tone is awkward beyond belief.

“We didn’t know you…er…had those inclinations,” Donghan says helpfully. Taedong gives him a thankful smile.

“Huh?” Taehyun frowns.

_They didn’t know?_

“But I…I always talk about how attractive other men are.”

“Yeah, but…you never use words like ‘hot’ or ‘sexy,’ Taedong starts. “It’s normal to call good-looking men ‘attractive’ or ‘handsome.’ But…’hot’ just has a different feel.”

“Well…that seems…”

_Fucking dumb._

“…stupid.” He forces out a laugh. “But…yeah. I, uh, I think men are attractive? Um, I guess…er, sexually?”

Donghan’s face lights up, bright and red.

“That’s…that’s a great way to put it hyung. Very, um, subtle.”

Taehyun rolls his eyes and shoves him.

“Shut up Donghannie.”

“Okay.”

_Odd._

Yongguk is staring at him. His gaze normally is cold, aloof, but this time it’s filled with respect. Taedong is nodding at him with a small smile. Hyunbin’s stare is a little _too_ intense, but Taehyun appreciates it anyways. It’s probably just his way of showing support. Shihyun is the one who looks most proud with his beaming smile and crescent moon eyes.

“I’m so glad you came out to us,” he says.

“It’s not a big deal,” he says, flustered.

_Does it count if I thought they knew?_

“I thought you all knew,” Taehyun finishes.

“Apparently not,” Sanggyun says. Kenta starts reaching over with a napkin to clean a piece of stray lettuce off Sanggyun’s face. It’s so utterly motherly that Taehyun just has to laugh.

“You’re such a mom Kenta.”

“Oh shush,” Kenta scolds. But he doesn’t deny it. Out of the corner of his eye, Taehyun sees Hyunbin and Shihyun link fingers. From a full on frontal view, he can see Sanggyun scowl.

\----  
Taehyun and Sungwoon start studying together as exams draw closer. Sungwoon will come over after school, bag full of heavy books, and they’ll study and study until the hour is late. Taehyun wants to be prepared. It’s his last year of high school after all. He and Sungwoon aren’t really hanging out at this point, they’re truly just studying. Taehyun finds Sungwoon’s presence comforting anyways.

Lunches at school have transformed as well. They’re quiet, full of pencils scratching on paper and the occasional page turn. Almost nobody speaks, and even when they do it’s to ask a question about material on the exam.

Taehyun is nervous when he receives the first exam. He’s studied hard, but there’s no surefire way to know if you’ll succeed. Especially with Cheetah, she’s nice, but Taehyun has heard stories that her exams could be brutal. He shares one quick glance with Sungwoon before their time starts and then all Taehyun can focus on is the words on the page and the answers in his brain.

When lunch comes, he and Sungwoon share a parting smile as they head off in different directions. He goes to the roof as per usual and breathes in the fresh air. The group seems content to sit in silence for a few moments before the inevitable exam complaining comes around.

“Aish,” Sanggyun starts. And of course, he’d be the first. “I think I bombed my second exam.”

“Oh shut up, you probably just barely passed.”

“Well I thought it was easy,” Yongguk says. He sounds so fucking smug.

“Shut up Mr. I-draw-cats-in-the-margins but still get the highest marks.”

“I can’t help that I’m a genius.” His tone is aloof but still playful.

“Fuck off,” Sanggyun curses, but there’s no real anger. Taehyun laughs at their exchange. His friends make his life far more exciting. And provide some much-needed reprieve from the onslaught of his feelings for Sungwoon.

“I’m going to take a nap,” Shihyun says. He leans his head on Hyunbin’s shoulders and closes his eyes. “Wake me up when lunch ends Hyunbinnie.”

Hyunbin smiles, eyes warm.

“Sure.”

Taehyun catches Yongguk eyeing them warily. There’s a flicker in his eyes, but Taehyun can’t quite make out what it is. It’s suspicious. But Yongguk is a private kind of guy. Taehyun doubts he could get the information out of him anyways.

_Probably nothing._

It’s silent for a few minutes, everybody’s eyes on Hyunbin and Shihyun. Donghan coughs awkwardly and turns.

“So, Taedong, how are you?” he asks. It seems stiff but Taedong indulges him.

“I’m fine. How are you Donghan?”

“I’m…uh, great.”

“Great.”

“Yeah.”

“Mm.”

The two continue to stare at each other, eyes unwavering. Taehyun rolls his eyes.

“You two are…” Kenta starts. His eyes flicker back and forth. He’s grimacing just a bit.

“Idiots,” Taehyun cuts in. The two of them exchange scandalized looks.

“Us?” Donghan gasps.

“Idiots?” Taedong exhales.

“Yeah.”

The three share fierce glares until eventually Taedong breaks. He laughs, bright and happy, and Donghan follows. Taehyun finally gives in and begins chuckling as well. The whole group eventually dissolves into laughter. It’s a miracle Shihyun didn’t wake up. The minutes pass far too quickly and soon it’s time for them to return to exams. Hyunbin gently shakes Shihyun awake. Yongguk is watching again, but Taehyun doesn’t have much time to analyze it.

“Round two of exams!” Taedong shouts. He’s just a bit overexcited if you ask Taehyun,

“Calm down,” Kenta admonishes. “Don’t yell in the stairwell. It’ll echo.”

Taehyun rolls his eyes again. He seems to be doing that a lot around this group. Kenta is such a parent, always worrying about manners and rules. It’s cute. Not like Taehyun would ever tell him. He parts with the group and reenters his classroom. Sungwoon is already sitting. He smiles and Taehyun scolds his rapidly beating heart. But it doesn’t slow, remaining fast and stable for his remaining exams. It’s almost overwhelming. But Taehyun is strong. So he’ll be fine…right?

\----  
They walk home together like usual. Taehyun dreads the next day, he doesn’t want to take more exams. Sungwoon chatters on about the difficulty of the last exam and Taehyun nods, but he isn’t really paying attention.

“Hey, hey! Taehyun-ah, were you listening to me?”

“Hm?”

“Aish, you weren’t. No manners,” Sungwoon laughs. Taehyun shoves him with his shoulder.

“Whatever you loser. Race you home!”

He doesn’t say which.

“Deal!”

The two take off and Taehyun laughs into the clear sky. He can hear Sungwoon laughing too. His heart speeds up again. But Taehyun is strong. Don’t you remember?

\----  
Taehyun isn’t sure what happened, but for some reason, all his exams seem easier. After the first one of the day he and Sungwoon exchange brief smiles, and that makes him all the more determined. He flies through the second exam with ease and heads up to the roof in high spirits. He’s the last one to arrive, and everybody is hunched over, pencils scribbling in their notebooks. Taehyun pulls out his own and pretends to study. He ends up sketching out the beginnings of choreography and smiles as he finishes.

Lunch draws to and end and he catches Hyunbin pecking Shihyun on the cheek. Donghan whistles loudly and Taehyun lets out a few catcalls of his own. Everybody laughs and cheers and Hyunbin turns tomato red. Shihyun is smiling, cheeks rosy. Yongguk’s smile fades first. Taehyun doesn’t notice.

He rushes through his third exam and marvels at how they continually get easier and easier. Maybe there’s something wrong with his brain. He chances a look at Sungwoon, still working hard. His heart thumps, familiar and fast. Maybe it’s Sungwoon. Taehyun lets his eyes fall. Maybe it’s not.

\----  
The final day of exams is simultaneously easy and difficult. The exams themselves feel simple, but for some reason Taehyun can’t stop thinking about Sungwoon. His mind stews, even as he reads exam questions. He thinks of Sungwoon’s smile and laugh and how cute he looks when he wears glasses. Lunch rolls around and he ditches Sungwoon without a second glance. He feels dizzy. He needs to get some air.

Everybody is cheerful at lunch. It’s the last day of exams, and soon it’ll be break. Laughter fills the air and Taehyun is able to forget about Sungwoon for a just a little bit. Hyunbin kisses Shihyun full on the mouth today, still short and chaste, but it excites the group anyways. Taehyun lets out several loud whoops as Taedong claps his hands encouragingly. Hyunbin winks at the group only to be followed by Shihyun shoving him.

When Taehyun returns to the room he feels like he’s high up, drifting among clouds. He feels euphoric, otherworldly. He looks at Sungwoon with star eyes and grins wide. Sungwoon cocks his head and pushes up his glasses and gives him a tiny smile. It’s more beautiful than Taehyun wants to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please check out [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355) as well


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a party within a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so close to being finished y'all. check out [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355) if you'd like

Exams finish without a bang. No surprises. No trick questions. He packs up his backpack like it’s every other day. Like he isn’t about to start break and attend the ridiculously wild party always thrown at some poor fucker’s house. He’s not sure who’s hosting it this year. He hopes there’ll be more alcohol this time.

He exchanges a glance with Sungwoon and they walk together to the gates before starting their familiar route home. He nudges Sungwoon’s shoulder with his own.

“Hey, wanna come over?” Taehyun asks. “We can hang before the party.”

Sungwoon shrugs. Taehyun knows that he probably forgot.

“Yeah, sure.”

His tone is flippant but his eyes are a little wide. He definitely forgot. Taehyun feels just a bit of satisfaction knowing that he can read Sungwoon so well.

“Cool,” Taehyun smirks.

They get to Taehyun’s house and head to his room immediately. They’re sitting on his bed, lounging lazily, when Taehyun remembers he has to message Hyunbin and remind him of the party. He pulls out his phone and sends a quick reminder. Hyunbin will thank him later.

He and Sungwoon spend the whole time sitting around and chatting. It’s mundane stuff, new gossip, a shirt Sungwoon got recently, the weirdness surrounding Yongguk, Sanggyun acting out. It’s a lot, but it keeps them occupied. When it finally rolls around to being time for them to head to the party, Taehyun decides he’ll change shirts. He offers up some clothing for Sungwoon to borrow.

“Yeah, don’t really want to wear a school uniform to a party,” Sungwoon laughs. Taehyun smiles knowingly and tosses a pair of jeans and a shirt at him. He moves away from the door, expecting Sungwoon to head to the bathroom to change. He doesn’t. Taehyun lets out a little yelp when Sungwoon pulls off his shirt and turns quickly as his face heats.

“Ah, what’s wrong Taehyun-ah?”

“N-nothing,” he stutters. He begins to change in the corner and prays that Sungwoon doesn’t turn around and see him. They’ve seen each other naked before, in changing rooms or baths, but now Taehyun feels even more uncomfortable. His feelings have grown since then, despite his efforts to stop them.

When he’s fully clothed, he turns back towards Sungwoon. He holds his breath. Sungwoon looks good in his clothing. Really good. There’s an odd, almost possessive feeling running through Taehyun’s body. He likes Sungwoon in his clothes. Because he wants others to see that Sungwoon is his. Even when he’s not. Taehyun tries to forget about that part.

\----

The party is still relatively mild when Sungwoon and Taehyun get there. There’s some music playing, but nothing Taehyun knows. He hopes they’ll play better stuff later in the night. He starts to wander around, Sungwoon in tow, and discovers a heavy scented smoking room. The smell is potent and thick. Taehyun cringes. He sees Sungwoon do the same.

They peer in and see a sniffling Dongho. Taehyun can’t quite make out what he’s saying, but it seems to be something along the lines of “never love me back” and “cheating snake.” Jonghyun is nodding and smoking and nodding and smoking. Minki is…staring. If his razor-sharp glare counts as staring. He surveys the oddly populated room again. Maybe some mysteries are better left unsolved.

He and Sungwoon continue to wander, but then, Taehyun hears it. Music he knows. Music he can dance to. Music he can _krump_ to. Taehyun gives Sungwoon a wild grin and breaks out, full force. Sungwoon cheers loudly, attracting new guests to the area. Soon he’s surrounded by a screaming crowd, and he continues to krump even as the music changes from heavy beating hip hop to the bubbly music of SNSD.

He stops after several more songs, breathing heavy, Daehwi and Woojin slipping into the center of the crowd and dancing crisply to TWICE with ease. Sungwoon, who has always seemed to read Taehyun’s mind, approaches him with a water bottle in one hand and alcohol in the other.

“Thanks,” he huffs. His body feels so tired. Sungwoon doesn’t answer but he does pat him on the back. Taehyun downs about half the bottle, then the beer, and then begins to search for a quiet place to relax for a bit. They head up some stairs and Taehyun flushes as they pass a questionably moaning closet. Sungwoon ushers him forward even though his face is burning too. It seems there are a lot of mysteries that are better left unsolved.

They pass by another closed door and Taehyun can hear hushed whispers through it. It’s probably not a great idea for them to go in so they skip this room as well. They end up in a small room with a tiny couch and a plethora books stuffed into bookcases. They both take a seat on the couch and Taehyun lets out a deep sigh.

“God, krumping always makes me so tired,” he laughs.

“But you’re good at it,” Sungwoon points out. Taehyun smiles gently. Sungwoon is a good friend.

_He’d be a better boyf-_ , Taehyun cuts off that thought. He can’t be thinking like that. He really can’t.

“Thanks, Sungwoonie.”

They sit in silence for a few more moments when Sungwoon turns to him suddenly.

“Taehyun.”

“Mm?”

“Are you in love with me?”

And that stops Taehyun for a moment. For more than a moment.

“I…uh…no,” he stutters nervously. “Of…of course not Sungwoon-ah. Haha…how could you…think that…”

_Was I obvious?_

Sungwoon fixes him with a cold glare. He looks more serious than Taehyun has ever seen before.

_Fuck._

“Bullshit. You can’t lie for shit Taehyun. Especially to me.”

Taehyun winces because he knows it’s true. He holds the eye contact for as long as he can muster before breaking away, scoffing angrily. He clenches his hand into a fist and feels his nails dig in painfully.

“Shit, fine, Sungwoon. God. Yeah. Yes. Is that what you wanted to hear? A yes?”

“Say it.”

“Fuck Sungwoon, c’mon, why are you being like this?” Taehyun pleads.  
“I want to hear it.”

“Sungwoon, please. Don’t make me…” His voice is getting higher with desperation.

“Please Taehyun. I want to hear it.”

_Goddammit._

He could never deny Sungwoon anything after all. He takes a deep breath.

“I…I’m…Sungwoon. I’m in love with you.”

He’s close to tears and he runs a hand through his already messy hair. He feels exhausted and emotionally wrecked. Sungwoon still hasn’t said anything. Figures. He’s always been set up for rejection anyways. Best friends. Ha.

“…Taehyun.”

He still isn’t looking.

“…what?”

“I…”

Taehyun grunts.

“…look at me.”

_Feh._

“Why should I?”

_Asshole._

“Just do it.”

_I hate you._

But he really doesn’t. Taehyun glowers and turns. Sungwoon grabs his chin and tilts his head upwards. Sungwoon holds the eye contact and forces Taehyun to return it.

“I’m in love with you too.”

Taehyun gives himself twenty seconds exactly to feel elated. And then he allows himself to crash. Because nothing in life could ever be this good. Life is a bunch of shitty dreams you have when you’re a kid and then realizing that you can’t reach any of them and you have to settle for the next best thing.

“…that’s really not a funny joke Sungwoon.”

“I’m…I’m not joking.”

“You’re straight.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Uh, maybe ‘cause you’ve only dated fucking girls?”

“…yeah. But…but I…you’re the real deal Taehyun. I’m…you’re it for me. I can tell.”

Taehyun wants to sob. He probably could. He’s pretty close to it. But he holds in his tears and works his hardest to convey his pain. Sungwoon couldn’t do this shit to him. He’s not interested in playing games. He’s not interested in being his best friend’s pet project sexuality experiment.

“…then what was that rejection you gave me a year ago, huh? After we, you know, when I…”

“I didn’t know what I was thinking back then. I was confused. I’d never…boys were never an…an option for me before. I was scared. The feelings I had were…I…”

Taehyun laughs, hollow. It echoes in the small room.  
“Fuck off Sungwoon. I…you’re worth too much for me at this point. I don’t…I don’t want to be an experiment, okay?”

“…you’re not. I’m serious, okay? I’m. I’m in love with you. I really am.”

“You’re my best friend,” Taehyun says, and oh God doesn’t this sound familiar. Isn’t this fucking ironic. But shit, it doesn’t hurt any less.

“I love you.”

“…fuck.”

Taehyun makes eye contact again. He’s assessing his odds, weighing his options. And then he surges forward and locks their lips. They kiss, messy and rough on the tiny couch in the tiny room. They break apart, panting heavily.

“…not an experiment?”

“No.”

“…okay.”

And he kisses him again.

“I trust you.”

Taehyun leans up close to Sungwoon again. Their foreheads touch. Sungwoon’s breath is warm.

“Let’s leave,” Taehyun mumbles.

“Okay.”

They leave the tiny couch and the tiny room and go to the door. Sungwoon is smiling wide, cheeks glowing healthily. Taehyun’s eyes are crescents. He intertwines their fingers and they exit the party hand-in-hand. The air outside is cold. So fucking cold. But Sungwoon grips his hand tighter. It’s warm. Warm enough to heat his whole body. He feels euphoric again, like he’s flying. He throws his hands in the air, dragging Sungwoon’s up with him.

“SUNGWOON!” he calls into the night. “I LOVE HA SUNGWOON!”

Sungwoon is laughing, but his face is bright red. Taehyun flies higher.

“I love Noh Taehyun,” he whispers. Taehyun smiles. Sungwoon throws his arms up too, hands still clenched by Taehyun. “I LOVE NOH TAEHYUN!”

They burst out laughing and unlink their hands. Taehyun kisses him wet and sloppy on the cheek. Most would find it gross. Taehyun thinks it’s endearing.

“Race you to my place,” Sungwoon says.

Sungwoon takes off at a breakneck speed. Taehyun can hear his laughter. He can’t stop giggling either. He can’t stop the euphoria. This is it, the ultimate high. He’s running, cold wind whipping at his face, trying to outpace Sungwoon even when he knows he can’t. He follows behind him, sprinting, laughing, cheering. He smiles because it’s fun. He smiles because he knows himself. He knows his own heart. He’d follow Sungwoon to the moon and back. He’d follow Sungwoon into pitch black darkness. He’d follow Sungwoon to the ends of the earth. Because he’ll always follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for your support. comment on how i'm doing if you'd like. please support JBJ!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> orbiting forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. here we are. thanks for reading, everybody. please continue to read [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355) as well as all of the works from [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720)

The next day is what Taehyun would call “fucking awesome.” Because he finally was able to express everything he was feeling. And holy shit, it’s all _returned._ It’s more than he could ever hope for. Everything after the party is great. They go from running like hooligans down the street to sneaking into Sungwoon’s home way too late at night. With all their giggling, it’s a miracle Sungwoon’s family doesn’t wake up.

They’re quick to snuggle up on Sungwoon’s bed, covering themselves with a thick comforter. It isn’t unusual for them to share a bed, but this time, the meaning is different. Taehyun doesn’t have to hold himself back anymore, and he easily maneuvers himself to be the little spoon, letting Sungwoon wrap his arms around him. He likes warmth and comfort, and that’s what Sungwoon is.

The next morning is even better. They wake up, still spooning, and Sungwoon kisses him straight on the mouth first thing after blinking awake. Taehyun doesn’t even mind the morning breath. They stay swaddled in warmth for a few more minutes and then reluctantly roll out of bed to start up their morning routines. They stand, side by side in Sungwoon’s small bathroom, taking turns washing their faces and brushing their teeth. Sungwoon knocks their shoulders together every once in a while, and Taehyun glows.

Sungwoon’s parents left a note on the fridge that informed the duo that they had gone out to run some errands. Which means that the responsibility of cooking breakfast falls on Sungwoon. He starts working with ease, cracking eggs to start making two omelets. Taehyun offers to help, but Sungwoon waves him off (they both know Taehyun has trash cooking skills). He shrugs and sits down, pulling out his phone to check any new photos on Instagram.

He cringes almost immediately, the first photo a messy, blurred picture of Seongwu and Daniel, posted at 3:00 A.M. this morning. They’re in a bed…somewhere, and it’s pretty clear that neither of them are wearing shirts. There are also a lot, and Taehyun means _a_ _lot_ , of hickeys littering both of their necks. And wow, that’ll be fun to hide for the next week. The caption is just a jumble of letters and an emoji at the end. It’s the laughing crying cat, in case anybody is wondering. Taehyun is quick to save the picture before either of them wake up and delete it from existence forever. One can never have too much blackmail after all.

Taehyun can smell the omelets getting closer to completion. They smell great, but he acknowledges he may be biased (because anything Sungwoon makes tastes great to Taehyun). He continues scrolling on Instagram idly. The next photo is an endearing picture of Yongguk passed out on Shihyun, his head resting on Shihyun’s lap (because to literally everybody’s surprise, Yongguk is the lightest of lightweights, outpacing even _Kenta_. And that’s impressive).

It would be a cute picture in normal circumstances, with normal people. But Yongguk and Shihyun are far from normal, and Taehyun knows Yongguk way too well. And he _knows_ , for a fucking fact, Yongguk will absolutely lose his shit when he sees it. Taehyun saves this one too, before Yongguk forces Shihyun to erase it. He can hold this one photo over Yongguk for the rest of his life. Taehyun gets a little bit of a gleeful rush. He can’t wait to put it in some corny slideshow at his wedding (if he ever gets married that is) or some other event that’s equally as public.

“Omelets are almost done!” Sungwoon calls. The whole room smells of eggs, and Taehyun’s stomach growls, like it’s just now noticing how empty it is.

“Great, thanks Sungwoon-ah.”

Taehyun can only see the back of Sungwoon’s head, but he hears him hum happily. Taehyun continues scrolling until he finds another picture of interest. It turns out that it’s actually more than just one picture that intrigues him. Donghan has posted what has to be at least twenty photographs, some crisply HD and others barely more than blurry colors. Taehyun is only halfway through the collection of pictures when Sungwoon appears in front of him and sets down his plate.

“Ah, thank you Sungwoon.”

A soft smile.

“Of course, Taehyun,” he replies. Taehyun feels a rush of fondness course through his body, Sungwoon has spoken his names so so _so_ many times before, but this time his tone is different, warmer than ever before. Taehyun tries not to look too pleased, but Sungwoon has probably caught on anyways. Taehyun flushes at his knowing stare and eats a bite of omelet. It’s satisfying in the way only home cooked meals can be.

“This is really good Sungwoon” Taehyun says, even though it’s only a basic omelet. There’s just something amazing about it, and who is he fooling, it’s probably (definitely) because it was made by the guy Taehyun has been pretty much been in love with for at least four years.

“Thank you,” Sungwoon replies. They eat in a content silence, and when they both finish, Sungwoon takes both their plates to the sink. Taehyun stares at him with awestruck eyes when he turns back to face him, and that causes Sungwoon’s eyebrows to crinkle in confusion.

“What? Something on my face?” he wonders.

“No. You’re just…” Taehyun thinks hard, how is he supposed to describe what he feels towards Sungwoon with real words? How can he describe all he’s feeling? “…you’re just. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, you know?”

Sungwoon shines beautifully, like a gorgeous, falling star that’s getting closer and closer to earth, closer and closer to Taehyun. Taehyun’s heart races familiarly, but this time he doesn’t have to push down his feelings. He rides on the amazing high of finally having his feelings reciprocated.

“…you’re the best thing that’s happened to me too,” Sungwoon mutters. His ears are red and his eyes shifty, but his words are genuine. And even though Taehyun wants to drown in this euphoria for the rest of time, he needs to make one final clarification.

“What are we Sungwoon?”

Sungwoon looks at him with searching eyes. Taehyun can’t deny the fact that he’s scared of Sungwoon’s answer. He thinks they’re on the same page, but one can never be completely certain. Feelings are easily changed, they’re uniquely fickle and wildly unpredictable.

“I…what do you want Taehyun?”  
“I…” He trails off, contemplating his next words carefully. He might as well go with the truth. “I want anything you’ll give me Sungwoon.”

“…okay. Then, uh, then…I want…I want to date you. Seriously. A mature relationship.”

And holy shit yes. Taehyun is so elated he might just pass out.

“Yes. That sounds, fuck, holy shi-that sounds amazing. God yes, Sungwoon.”

“…I…I want you to know Taehyun…” Sungwoon pauses, his face is calm but his eyes swim with worry. “This…this isn’t, er, this isn’t a short time thing for me. I’m in it for the long run.”

Sungwoon makes eye contact with Taehyun. Taehyun wants to stare into Sungwoon’s eyes forever.

“I am too,” he whispers. This is more than he could ever have hoped for. “I am…so fucking in love with you, Sungwoon.”

Sungwoon has an almost unreadable expression on his face.

_Shit. Was that too forward?_

Sungwoon opens his mouth. Taehyun holds his breath.

“I’m…I’m uh…fuck, Taehyun. Okay, here it goes.” He inhales deep. His cheeks are stained so red they’re practically burgundy. “I’m in love with you too.”

It’s different than last night. They’re stone cold sober. There’s no hiding behind the haze of alcohol. And Taehyun wants the world to stop in place. He wants to be stuck in this moment forever. He’s close to crying with pure joy, and shit, all of those years of pining and longing and wishing have finally paid off. Taehyun would redo it all, he’d live through another lifetime of it, if he could just have this one moment again, experience it over and over. But he wants to move forward too.

He’s excited, for the first time ever, to see what the future is going to bring to him and Sungwoon. And he knows, deep in his gut, that this is it. He knows, somehow, that he and Sungwoon will always find each other, that they’ll orbit around each other until they grow old and grey and wrinkled. Taehyun shines. He’s about to start the rest of his life, his life of Sungwoon and him against the world. And Taehyun can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading! it's been a fun ride. please continue to support jbj!

**Author's Note:**

> i love this pairing. ples support jbj guys
> 
> it will also be overlapping time period wise with [ i know you know ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097/chapters/27164355)


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